Abandoning of aged parents a serious sickness in society

Having the heart to do the heartless

I refer to “Rescued old folk ignored by families”,Star January,15. 

It is indeed very sad and disturbing that no one has come forward to claim the four senior citizens at the Kuala Kubu Baru Hospital after they were found languishing at an abandoned old folks home last week. They are believed to be elderly parents who were abandoned by their children and left neglected in an old folk’s homes. Such inhumane act speaks volumes of the so-called caring society in which we live today. 

It is extremely sad to know how children can be so hard-hearten and ungrateful to their parents as to cruelly abandon them at the final of their lives. These four aged parents are just a few of the many more who are lingering in poorly managed and overcrowded homes for the aged. A visit to any old folk’s home will reveal a number of aged and handicapped persons being abandoned after some months by the children who never turn up or even pay for their maintenance at the home. This irresponsible action to me is one of the greatest crimes a human can commit against another, more so against his own parents. 

The four abandoned aged and sickly parents rescued from the home are now lingering in the hospital and are reported to be well but are they really? Welfare homes and hospitals can give them medication, shelter, food and clothing and a little love out of sympathy from the staff taking care of them but not the type of love the oldies yearn for which can only be given by their own children.

There are suggestions to introduce laws to force children to care for their elderly parents but will that solve the problem of parent abandoning? I don't think any laws can force love down the throats of people who are heartless and selfish with no sense of gratitude for those who gave them life and were ladders in their climb of success. They can be forced to give a little money but not something, which they don’t have – love. Unfortunately however this is what the majority of these elderly parents really need. 

Then there those aged parents being “abandoned “in their own homes. They may be seen to be staying happily in the comforts of their own homes but are lonely and dejected as nobody in the family has any time for them. How will legislation enforce a caring attitude among the members of the family when they refuse to see the need to care for the oldies?

We tend to forget that our aging parents are solely our responsibility, which we cannot abdicate to others. It is only we who can fulfill their expectation to the fullest, not an outsider, however kind he may be to them. It is very touching to see old parents, sick and handicapped in old folk’s homes, even when abandoned never complain about their children. In fact most of them refuse to believe their children have abandoned them and continue to have so much hope that their son or daughter will come back one day to take them home. To many that day never comes as they die painfully heart-broken before their hopes are realized.

Parent abandoning is not a new phenomena but is growing fast in our affluent society. Whatever reason or excuse we may have, it is morally wrong to abandon our parents especially at the twilight of their lives when they outlive their usefulness to us and our families.

 

This unpleasant and immoral phenomenon should be a lesson for all of us as how we should care for our own aged parents. It may be pertinent for us to remember the saying, "What goes around comes around" which simply means that whatever you do in this life to other people, whether it is good or bad, the same will return to you. Maybe not in the exact same way, but the payback for the bad we do will be extremely painful which we will regret one day.